Recently, I conducted the session conflict management for the top-notch international organisation for middle managers, who lead sales staff and report to senior managers.

After greeting and energizer, I asked them, 1st question, when you listen the word “CONFLICT”, what does come in your mind or what picture do you see? Honestly speaking, majority of the participants replied, when two or more than two people start fighting, dumping the peace, creating the chaos and deteriorating the environment.

As far as picture is concerned, few of them replied “See husband and wife relation” Lots of laughs.  On serious notes, one of the participants stood up and shared the long story of picture.

TRICKLE DOWN EFFECT:

HUSBAND’S & WIFE REACTION:

He started with “That year cats could not bear babies” But here, I am summarizing for you in a nutshell. There was a young man, working in marketing firm in metropole city, due to an excessive pressure of work, he routinely comes late at home. One day, he got up late in the morning, reported late in the meeting, of-course delayed in submitting important assignment. What do you expect, what had had happened with young man? If you are thinking about insult program, it means you are thinking right, the boss started insult program and kept on taunting him whole day in every task. Literally speaking, young man lost his whole self-esteem. When, he reached home, his wife opened the door with fascinating smile and happy mood. Very next moment, she asked husband cheerfully, please take a shower, come down stairs, because she has cooked a favorite dish with delicious desserts. He turned down, started looking at her face like hungry wolf, then he shouted, what the F**k, nothing is my favorite, screamed that he doesn’t need any of your hand made food. After verbal violence, he went up to stairs, entered into room, locked the door and laid down on the bed.

BROTHER, DOG & CATS

Two of his sons were playing in their room as usual, she suddenly saw one of her elder kid, who was messing up the floor with painting colors, she grabbed his collar, screamed like witch, slapped too hard and moved away. After a while, elder son saw, younger brother, who was playing catch-catch with tape ball against wall, elder one took the ball and threw that outside, kicked him off on butt very hard, and he ran away. Younger one got too much angry, he had nothing around to flush his anger out. He went outside, saw a stone, picked that up and hit the dog. Who was sitting in the street. Dog barked and ran away. While running, he saw two cats were busy in romance, then dog started barking on them too. Cats romance business got disturbed. Due to that disturbance they could not continue. Therefore, “that year cats could not bear the babies” 

After listening whole story, the participants asked question, hence who is the responsible of that cats could not bear the babies? Option of expected responsible people are given below:

  1. Boss
  2. Husband
  3. Wife
  4. Elder one
  5. Younger one
  6. Dog

The answer is, “Husband”.

After trickledown effect, I asked another question from audience, When conflict happens? I received different answers and different answers. But here, I am not going to share anyone’s story, rather I would share my research.

FIVE FACTORS OF CONFLICT

  • Collision
  • Disagreement
  • Controversy
  • Opposing demands
  • Fixed mindset

COLLISION

Imagine two airplanes are flying at height of 40,000 feet, and both are coming from different directions. Due to malfunction of navigation system, they collided very hard. Imagine, what could have happened? Who suffered the big loss?

The answer is, big loss would be suffered by two air companies (Assets, well-trained pilots, crew), insurance companies and banks. Moreover, thousands of passengers lost their lives and their families would go into big trauma, isn’t so? Furthermore, I think event could bring wreak havoc to many of lives. Now, put yourself in the place of aero planes. You have collision with someone in personal or professional life, due to attitude 0r ego issue (navigation). You collide each other very hard, just to secure short term benefit by putting some down. It could damage the project management of the company, profitability, corporate environment, employee interaction, strategic planning and many more. Collison is a conflict, which always bring negative consequences. How collision can be resolved? In conclusion, collision can only be resolved through coaching and counselling techniques.

DISAGREEMENT

Disagreement is not a bad thing, but disagreement in everything, every initiative and every innovative style of work, it excruciates to whom do you disagree or someone who disagrees with you. Moreover, this sort of conflict develops negative vibes in relationship. Disagreement is a great conflict if it is positively executed with controlled environment, it can bring great results. otherwise, it will result very harmful consequences.

CONTROVERSY

controversy is a dispute or argument in which people express strong opposing views. When, a popular TV show kills off a well-loved character, there’s bound to be a lot of controversy. Controversy means a quarrel (often public) involving strong disagreement, but the topic can be as unimportant as a new movie. How can they resolve controversy? The answer is, They can resolve it by win-win situation. When, both the parties share common grounds and share their past experiences, few things would be forgone and few things would have penalized accordingly.

OPPOSING DEMANDS

Boss wants A, subordinate provides B. After discussion and debate. Boss says 6 and subordinate says 9. Both are equally correct, but Boss is standing at right side. Whereas, subordinate is standing at left side. In this situation boss is 100% right and subordinate is not 100% wrong. Let’s discuss the ways of transforming the opposing demands into favoring demand sort of attitude? The answer is, If boss changes the location or subordinate shifts his position. Most noteworthy consequence, the boss will start looking that this is 9. The same scenario is valid on subordinate to boss as well.

FIXED MIND

Those bosses, who possess fixed minded attributes and characteristics, they always think over limited paradigm, because they have very specific knowledge, intelligence, experience, scope and exposure. Whenever, head of department assign them any task to perform, they oppose or resist to accept it, due to their limited capability to understand the things. Fixed minded people are victim of mental obstacles, habitual of criticizing everything, putting less efforts and expecting high benefits. Fixed minded people are hard to handle but not difficult, it takes a lot time and energy. Management should take some drastic measure to eliminate fixed mindedness by implementing following strategies,

  • Run session on self-awareness
  • Empower them
  • Train their brain
  • Executive coaching
  • Assign them new task with proper controlled system.

In conclusion, conflict can be good or bad, it’s up to you how you respond not to react.

 

mm

Ranjeet Kumar

Management Consultant & Success Coach

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